In the right space

Monday morning - On with the book! Except today this is not going so well. I am struggling today - struggling with motivation and more, struggling with the content and how it affects me when I write. I think every author's writing must be influenced by their own lives and the people they have met. My motivation for writing is to tell a story that is important to me, something that I have lived, breathed and felt. However, I also want my it to be a story not about me, or about the people who influence my characters. Trying to find that middle line is hard, and today I am struggling. I have been writing a chapter this morning that has taken me back into my past. I have had to delve deep into my memory to capture those feelings and emotions... and I now feel wrecked. It's really hard (and beautiful) to go back to those places and this morning I have just had to stop. Sometimes allowing yourself to go back into that world is like escaping off on holiday, off to the sun with all your everyday worries behind you. And at other times, it is just too painful, too dangerous. Today I feel like I am in that danger zone and I need to be in the present. So...book closed for today, fridge raided and distraction hat on. I will try again another day when my head and heart are more aligned, but today is not the right day.